Understanding Perfectly

Last Friday, I wrote a poem in less than 10 minutes right before I left office. The condition was funny, because the key holder was not in office, so my colleagues wanted to leave soon because the secretary must lock the door. But since I knew the secretary would visit bank first, I told her to leave first and I would lock the door. Everyone was agree, so I was left alone just for writing this poem. LOL.

This poem alone was inspired by a chat with my boy. He told me something like somebody said I wasn't fit for something I dream to have, while another person deserves it. I was like 'what? even this person only met me once but how come I was judged like that?' My head was spinning around, but then I found an inspiring song by Hey Monday, titled Set Off, which lyrics are about going on with something we deserve although everyone disagrees. And I also heard the secretary hummed Aku Milikmu by Dewa 19, then I downloaded and listened to it, which was also inspiring because the lyrics are about holding on someone we love no matter what people say.

The poem I made is some kind of different. I was like judged 'I don't understand what I dream about', so I thought quite hard. I thought we can never really understand anything, anyone, perfectly, especially anyone. Every person is just very typical and special, none of us are the same. That's why I think that understanding perfectly is nonsense, there's no such a thing. What we do with each other, especially with closest person, people we love, is not a pure understanding. It is more about giving space, time, and respect. We give them space to act and do what they like. We give them time alone with themselves when they feel comfortable most. We respect them, as long as they are not doing bad things. Even if it's bad, we only need to tell and and stop them. Whether they really will stop or not, it's their own concern and it will be their risk, not ours.

So, here's the poem. Unlike the title of this post, I titled it 'Understanding You.' Love it? Hate it? Check it out :)

I don't understand yőυ
I wasn't made to do that about yőυ
I was just born to Ľovε yőυ
Every single piece of yőυ

I don't understand yőυ
I never even promise that to yőυ
But all I can see in this world is yőυ
The one for mξ is none but yőυ

I don't understand yőυ
Nor listen to anything they say about yőυ
I am just here, right beside yőυ
Believing myself that I'm the one for yőυ
Catching every good out of bad things in yőυ
Giving space and respect to appreciate yőυ

I don't understand yőυ
Understanding mξ is not what I ask from yőυ
Just let mξ be an important part of yőυ
For replying this zillion of Ľovε to yőυ

I edited it when I retyped it in Torchy, so a few words would be found different from what I wrote in my agenda. Still it doesn't change the whole content.

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Rival, Enemy, Friend

Human is a creature made with heart. by the heart, she/he can feel anything to anything and anyone. one feeling I notice here is hatred. we used to hate some people by some reasons. maybe they don't speak politely, maybe they're liars, maybe they whine too much, maybe they act real bad and hurt people we love, and still there are many reasons of hatred.

one reason I notice about this hatred is: because they do what we do, they love what we love, they can even do it better so that they conquer us.

yeah, we used to hate people because they have the same interest with us. and we'll hate them more when they take away something/someone we love, leave us alone with an unrequited feeling. we'll hate them more when they do things we do in some better ways. we'll hate them more when they feel what we feel in some more sincere ways.

in such condition, we might say that: "how come they get it? I am the one who deserves it more! they are not even qualified enough to have it!" but in the end we know we have to take things sincerely, and tell ourselves that 'something/someone' we love before might not be the best for us. might not be what we need, so that we didn't have it.

and then time goes by. things change. there comes a condition where our rival has lost that precious thing they had taken from us long ago. we might be surprised, or whatever, but eventually we will open the gate. we will throw away whatever distance between us and our rival. we will start talking to them, no matter how awkward it is. then we found out...we and our rival have lots of similarity. which had made us love and do the same thing in the old times.

we and our (ex) rival might spend some times together, talking, sharing about many things. maybe not about our competition in the past, but anything worth a lot more than that. even if it's about our competition, we'll just laugh about it, remind each other of how stupid we were, how silly things have been all the time.

the more we share, the more we might discover...that we and our rival are understanding each other so very well.

that is why, I think the statement on my favorite manga, Glass no Kamen, was right. it was said there that: my one and only rival is the one and only closest person to my heart.

really, I think it's truly true.

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