Close To You

I wrote a poem in Saturday. I've already got the idea since few days before, but as usual I want to put much words herein. There was a lesson worth learned when I wrote this poem.

Art is about beauty.

 

When we compose something, either it's poem, song, or even a story, we are allowed to put everything we want inside. But we may not forget the beauty factor. Without it, our work would not be art. We can't be selfish by putting a phrase over and over again just to show the world that we compose a song for someone, for example. Like what I did, I meant to write the poem for someone by putting one phrase over and over again but in the end I didn't feel satisfied. I felt something was wrong with my poem, with too much repeated phrase. 

We can't put repeated phrase in a poem, it will ruin the content. But in song lyrics, it's a different matter. The point is how to create a beautiful work so that people, and ourselves, can consider it as 'art'. For example, I wrote a poem for a man with blue eyes, so I put 'blue eyes' to show that it's for him like this:

 

He's beautiful with those blue eyes

But he acts as cold as ice 

 

Then at the next line I write:

  

His blue eyes captivate me

I have nowhere else to see

Repeated phrase like that will ruin the beauty of a poem, in my humble opinion. Because after I wrote the first version of my poem then I read it, I felt like I messed it up. And until I replaced the repeated phrase, I wasn't satisfied.

 

Well, I said too much. Here is the poem. It's actually titled 'Close' because 'Close To You' is like an old song title, but I just want to title this post like that.

Yőυ've been where I always be
Like I'm a seed and yőυ're the bee
Never realized until I see
Yőυ appear right before mξ

Just like sunshine after the rain
Yőυ open ♏y eyes when yőυ stand
Like a heartbeat this Ľovε grows strong
To yőυ, a home where I belong

I want to stay close to yőυ forever
Cause it's something I rule
Everyday getting closer and closer
To a creature so beautiful
No one else can do it like mξ
So yőυ know that wε're meant to be

Leaves are falling to the ground
The way this world goes round
As ♏y heart keeps calling yőυ out
The way ♏y name is what yőυ shout

I can be the one for yőυ
And it's the greatest thing I  do
I can call yőυ the one for mξ
Together wε make the universe see

Be who yőυ are, don't go too far
I will never leave yőυ alone
Whenever yőυ're lost in yoυя way
I'll come to keep yőυ safe and sound

♏y destiny is to be with yőυ
I am written to stay close to yőυ

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Melody

Sooooooooooo Plurk is under maintenance again! I have nothing to do, got no task from boss nor clients, and I'm too lazy studying for bar exam. I had made one power of attorney and now I want some rest, period.

Because of I have nothing to do (but tweeting stupidly with massive Plurkers who usually move to Twitter when Plurk is under maintenance), I remember a poem I want to write. So this morning I got two ideas to write, one is about 'fixing broken relationship' and the other is about 'staying close to someone'. Since the current condition is closer to the first one, so I wrote the first one first. What, repeating? LOL

Have you ever had a good relationship with a friend? You were always together every day and night like you stick to each other, and because of whatsoever short distance you frequently spent times together, just the two of you? Until suddenly, you don't understand why, but your friend acted colder to you and you couldn't stand it so you acted as cold as your friend. Both of you suddenly disconnected, while you know you had some things you can only share with each others. You become strangers to each others. You don't understand your friend, neither does your friend to you. But you two still have something to hold on. The only thing that still connects you, while the rest fails.

 

Yőυ were ♏y melody
I sang about yőυ every night
Can't stop yoυя name rhyming in ♏y head
I remember those perfect days

Now the sky turns darker
As yoυя eyes grow so much colder
I can't hold on yőυ any longer
For nowhere wε'll be never

I try to find the broken pieces
Collect and compound one to others
But no matter how hard I try
No matter how hard yőυ try
Our links have been missing somewhere
And wε fail to find them anywhere

Our hearts lost the connection
Couldn't see yőυ as I did
The way yőυ don't get mξ right
There's no more left of us

But the melody stays around
As the only piece I can find
The only treasure worth holding on
As the rest is disappeared and gone

I don't understand why I finally titled this poem as 'melody', but maybe because it's the meaning of my friend's name and it's the only thing that keeps us together. The truth is I and my friend are strangers to each others since the first time we met until now. I realize that the togetherness we shared was like forced, just because we must spend time together for the 'whatsoever short distant.' But we have one thing that we both love, the really only one thing that ties us.  

It's music.

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(The Way) You Are

Yesterday I left my book at office. I should have studied for bar exam by working on those problems, but I left the book. So last night I just read Criminal Procedural Code and memorizing trial periods. But who can stand such a situation? I ended up writing a poem I've been wanting to write since last week.  

So I had a conversation with my friend, about a mysterious beautiful person. We chat until we reached a point of what I would do to this person if he wants to be with me in such a mysterious condition. I said I don't matter as long as he's doing the best for himself, for us, and he's doing it for good. As long as he treats me right and loves me the way I deserve, I'm okay with that.

Then I came up with this poem. 

Wε're sitting on a table for two
I spend ♏y time questioning yőυ
Yőυ just laugh and smile at Мξ
Leaving Мξ with a big mystery

I am wondering forever
About who yőυ are, what yőυ like
How yőυ do and who yőυ Ľovε
And still I can't find any answers

Yőυ're an unsolved math equation
Uncompounded puzzle pieces
I'm not good enough to finish yőυ
But everyday I let yőυ know
That yőυ're beautiful the way yőυ are
So yőυ don't have to go so far

If yőυ turn yoυя heart around
Yőυ know yőυ'll always have Мξ found
Yőυ can trust Мξ all the time
Don't think that I'll leave yőυ behind

Yőυ're a treasure I've been searching
Beside yőυ I'm brightly shining
Believe that wε're made for each other
'Cause only with Мξ yőυ do better

The way yőυ are is wonderful
Everyday I learn to Ľovε yőυ like a fool
A picture perfect, that's yőυ and Мξ
Drawn by God so the world can see

Look at Мξ and change yoυя mind
Fall for Мξ and be mine
I'll Ľovε yőu for every piece yőυ have
In every second of yoυя life

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Hold On

Geez, what did I do? Writing poem in a car on my way to office? LOL. Well, actually I got this poem idea since Monday. This poem is about someone who made you believe in love again, but this person never means to go anywhere with you. Still, this person wants you to stay, holding on to you, and you don't know why.

Why do yőυ hold on Мξ?

It was in the middle of summer
When I did not believe in Ľovε
Thought that I'd always live alone
Numb and cold, couldn't feel ♏y heart

But yőυ came around and stay
Change ♏y hours with that smile
Pour every single kindness everyday
Give what I need as if yőυ can read ♏y mind

Should I be happy or should I not?
Cause yőυ do the same thing
Easily not to only Мξ

I've been leaving yőυ behind
Trying to act like yőυ're not in my mind
But, damn, yőυ always come back around
Like there's nowhere else to be found
Keeping yourself safe and sound
By holding on Мξ whenever I'm gone

Why do yőυ hold on Мξ?

I wish yőυ quit and leave Мξ alone
And spend yoυя life with everyone
While yőυ can't seem to let Мξ run
Keep Мξ wondering of what in me that yőυ want

I can't be happy, no, I can't
Cause right now empty hopes
Can kill Мξ right away

Why do yőυ hold on Мξ?
What do yőυ find in Мξ?
Don't keep Мξ questioning forever
What's so hard to ask Мξ to hold on yőυ?

Don't hold on Мξ
Because I'll hold on yőυ

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The One

Last Friday I was some kinda inspired by someone who's so beautiful and amazing, so I got an idea to write a poem titled The One. But since there were things happened, I didn't get the words right away. I don't know why I finally wrote this in Saturday morning when I woke up, right still on my bed.

This poem is about finding a beautiful person, but you never knew that this person is beautiful until you two finally met. And then things changed, you two get closer, your relationship is getting mutual, and you find this person is like equal to you. Perfect for you. And you feel like you're also perfect for this person. The beauty of you two blend in a perfect picture. You're perfect, this person is perfect, and you two collide.

Here it is.


Never knew yőυ're beautiful
Never knew yőυ're wonderful
Everything has changed
I breathe in, I breathe out

Yőυ shine as bright as sun
I shine bright beside yőυ
Wε are two perfections collide
Nothing can break us apart

Say yőυ're the one
I call yőυ the one
Heaven whispers quietly
That yőυ're the one for Мξ

Don't yőυ clearly see
That wε were meant to be?
How wε're captured perfectly
Together, yőυ and Мξ?

Yőυ stay forever in ♏y heart
I tell yőυ every day and night
Nobody can do it like us
Wε belong for the rest of our lives

Again, I wish I wrote a song with these words as the lyrics.

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Empty Hopes

So I was some kinda mad and sad last Saturday. I had a bad Friday and one of my relative was died suddenly in Saturday morning. I was also disturbed of my friend who seemed to be lying to me, and he is a grantor of empty hopes. When I almost exploded, I wrote these words. If I could play music instrument, I'd compose a song with these.

Yőυ came by surprise
Got yőυ rock ♏y world
Took Мξ from numb
Gave Мξ the sweetest

Yőυ're beautiful
I'm addicted
No matter how I know
Yőυ never mean to go any further

Yőυ're irresistible and such
How would I say no?
But yőυ never, never, ever
Take Мξ anywhere

Yőυ have empty hopes to give
So much, too much to give
To stupid girls like Мξ
To innocent ones like Мξ

Will yoυя empty hopes
Someday become hopes?
I expect it for Мξ
But the decision is on yőυ

It was titled 'Empty Hopes.' It's been a long time, by the way, since I last wrote a poem.

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The Grantor of Empty Hopes

The grantor of empty hopes seems like an overrated term to mention 'someone who likes giving empty hopes to his/her opposites, but never want to date one of them.' In Indonesia, it's called Pemberi Harapan Palsu or PHP. But let's forget about overrated or whatsoever, let's just focus on this post.

So, how much of you ever meet or even befriend with this kind of people? I am pretty sure so much of you ever do. I have met this kind of person, male one, and befriend closely, 2 times. Basically this kind of person don't have troubled personality, as far as I knew them. Even they have better personalities than anyone else.

I met the first one when I was in college. I thought I ever wrote about him in some posts in this blog, so I won't write about him in detail. He was cute, really cute, smart, and totally nice. I fell in love head over heels with him because he was physically my type and he always counted on me as if I was the only girl he could trust. He was charming and so nice to me. I always let him go but he always came back to me as if we couldn't be separated. But in the end, he never saw me as a special person. I was just one of his friends. 

I met the second one somewhere only we know, that I can't tell you. This person is superb nice. His attitude got 8 out of 10. His look...well, actually not so good in common, but to me he's cute. We didn't go well at the beginning, both of us seemed to keep distance to each other. He never tried to get closer to me, and I wasn't brave enough to do so because I was so charmed by his cuteness. But time somehow changes everything, since our relationship demands us to get closer and we had no reasons not to be. I heard stories about him, who is close to some girls but never dates any of them, and I have proved that it's true. Since I knew he was never serious to anyone, I thrown away my crush on him. I started to see him as ordinary friends, equal as the others. And what happened then? He never goes any further, he even gets closer to me, and treat me specially like I'm a special person to him. He is superb NICE to me. I already realized this since the first time we talked to each other when he helped me right away about something I need, without I asked. He was nice, and still, it has never changed, even grows stronger. With him, I had nothing to lose. I was poured with kindness, sweetness, nice treatments, even sweet caring words and compliments. I grab them all, yeah, because I am given those. I don't fall in love with him because of those, but I appreciate him. As a grantor of empty hopes, HE GOT CLASS. I know he don't think of me as a special girl, but his attitude never shows it. My point is I have nothing to lose with him. I don't even lose heart because I just follow his pattern and blend myself with him there. If he expects jar of hearts by pouring me with kindness, he can take it because I'm not gonna run out of it. 

Grantors of empty hopes are annoying, yes, because they will never think specially about us. Even if so, they won't let us have further relationship with them. They would only ruin our lives with sweet caring words, compliments, and special treatments. I have no idea why they would do such a thing, but it's probably related to insecurity of being left alone. 

And what should we do when we meet this kind of person? In my opinion and based on my experience, I would just take them all. Those caring attitude, words, compliments, treatments...for I have nothing to lose. I won't be afraid that heart would matter, because when I know this person gives empty hopes, I throw away my crush right at the moment. Grantors of empty hopes are basically not categorized to hated people. I think they don't deserve hatred for they always do nice things. What they can never give us is CERTAINTY. According to one of my posts last year, giving our hearts to grantor of empty hopes can cause CRUSHOPHOBIA. And who will lose anything? It's US.

Just be wise in facing this kind of person. Take the advantages, absorb their kindness until they can't give it anymore. And who will lose then? It's THEM.

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