Happy Ending

I passed the bar exam! YAY!

The news was spread this morning. First I got the news from my coworker via BlackBerry Messenger, that made my heart skipped beats. Suddenly I forgot about all wishes, I concentrated on this matter, I pray to God to make me pass. I tried to see the announcement from Torchy, but I couldn't open the .pdf file, damn! So I just copied and pasted the Peradi link and posted it in BlackBerry Messenger group chat for PKPA participants.

Then one of my PKPA friend replied in group chat, congratulated me for passing the test. I didn't believe it because I thought he thought I had passed. So I did private chat with him, and this is it:

I got 2 private chats afterwards, both were from my coworkers. The lawyer coworker congratulated me and asked for celebration. The secretary coworker sent me this chat:

That one was private chat to secretary from the witch. Yeah that forgotten witch. I didn't think he would give such a damn, but he probably just passed by the Peradi website and found my name. Not that I don't accept his good will, because I told the secretary to send my thanks to him. I guess we could really reconcile now.

So, this is it! My prayer all this time has been answered with a positive one! I passed the exam and now I'm the candidate for advocate! YAY! YAY! YAY! Happy ending!

Who says? -___-'

As in that song, each happy ending is a brand new beginning. I haven't even become a lawyer yet. There are still so much to do until I become one. I must write 3 criminal case trial reports and 6 private case trial reports during next two years, as a proof of my internship in a law firm. Then I must make some more documents. I must also prepare documents to get temporary permission from Peradi. So so so lazyyyy -___-' but I must do that! I've been one step ahead to make my dream, of becoming a lawyer, come true. I can't  stop here, never.

Well, congratulations to everyone who passed the bar exam too, then! I found some friends passed and some failed, but the ones who failed are them who were not prepared enough for the exam or didn't understand procedural law, so I think it makes sense.

Let's celebrate now! Buy cakes! Buy food! Dye my hair red! It's a happy happy day!

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Forgotten (Under The Spotlight)

Good morning! What's the story today? I have two.

This morning, the public car that I got ride to office was broke. Darn. So I must walked from toll road in front of Paramadina University to my office with my knee still injured. I wish it was good for recovering, although in fact it's getting worse .___. 

But yesterday I was so happy. Maybe not happy, but...excited. I felt awesome. Remember my post about the witch story? I met this witch yesterday when I was on my way home. I wanted to get a ride in a public car, and when I looked at the back seat somebody was waving to me. I waved back while questioning 'who is he?' and tried to sit on middle seat, but then I looked to the back seat again, the waving person asked me where the secretary was, then I was like...POP! Oh my Gosh, it was the witch! LOL! If I'm not mistaken, this is the second week since he left office, but I already forgot his unimportant face. Then because the middle seat was too full, I moved to other car, also because I was lazy breathing air in the same car with the witch.  

I checked my BlackBerry Messenger contact for fun, and found out the witch was no more in my list! Oh my God! It means he already removed me! YAY! I actually planned to do that, but I felt like it wasn't too important to do, besides I don't really care whether he's in my list or not, it won't affect my life. But don't you think it's awesome when I act cool all this time, then the person I don't care at all about whether he's dead or alive hate just left on his own without my push? I feel sooo awesome! I feel like partyin'! LOL!

Okay let's go back to poem. So, this is my last verses of the post I made in Plurk. This one is about you can't see anyone else but the person you love. Seeing this person gives you bravery to come near him/her, and suddenly you feel like the world approves you two to be together. Hate it? Love it? oh yeah, the title is Under The Spotlight.

I couldn't see anyone else
in мγ sight no one was there
all I see was yőυ and yőυ alone
as if yőυ're the only thing alive on this earth

bravery came out of мγ body and soul
I walked straight right to yőυ
I moved freely beside yőυ
the way the spotlight was shining on us

suddenly every eye was staring at us
the crowd remained in silence
Giving us time to collide
Giving us space to shine together

like two comets wε crashed
wε bumped into each other
But wε never been destroyed
for wε completed each other

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Perfection (The Ghost Story)

According to my previous post, this one is the second four verses of the post I made in Plurk when I was possessed. You know what...if a spirit or a ghost can be so poetic, it's not too scary. Indeed it's some kind of cool because when it possessed me I could be more poet than ever.

Actually, because I never seen it, I don't really believe that ghost or spirit appear in scary shape. It might just be caused by human's imagination, because psychologically what human thinks can come true. But who knows, I think this way because I never seen, and I wish I never will. 

if a ghost looked like this, would you still be afraid?

By the way, some employees in office next door were frequently possessed. I don't understand why, but most of them who were possessed had just come from the toilet but not the toilet near my office. Some people said it's because the toilet is dirty so the genies, ghosts, or spirits, like to stay there and possess people. I don't see how they can conclude that way, like they already known the ghosts personally and ever interviewed them about that. To me, those possessed people were just in stress or depression, they might had too much to think about, deeply, until their mind couldn't stand it and went crazy. 

Oh hell, what am I talking about? Isn't this post about my new poem? Why was I talking about ghost? damn, I was distracted -______-

So, this one poem is still about the attractive person you adore, or you love. You become so poetic when you think of this person or when you're with this person, and you love to hear this person name is called and you like to call it too until you can't stand it. this person is perfect with the imperfection. you just fall so simply.

I bet yőυ never knew

how every poetic silly words

always came up when yőυ were there

with all that imperfect perfection

I bet yőυ never knew

that every time yoυя name was called

I want to record so I can turn and listen to it

for uncountable times

when the time came for yőυ

yőυ stepped on the dance floor

beautifully you were moving

like yőυ spend yoυя entire life to dance

in the crowd yőυ were shining

brighter than every star I seen in the sky

glowing like a diamond in the sand
that undeniably caught my eye

Love it? Hate it? Personally, I love the words I put in. Please comment. Oh, I nearly forgot, the poem title is Perfection.

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Rhythm of Love

Hello again! 

Well, so, yesterday noon I was like possessed by a flirty poetic spirit. in Plurk, I made a random post including its responses. I wrote some kind of poem, but more like a story with so much poetic words like metaphors. I made a long one until I got tired.

I really was carried on. I was possessed. I didn't understand what was got into me, I just smoothly wrote everything. One thing I still aware about is the inspiration source, which I won't explain here because it's a top secret. I just didn't know how it can be so long, so huge. 

So this one poem is about being attracted to someone you know. Someone who is physically attractive at first, but then everything about this person affects you like giving you more energy and hypnotize you, and when you're with this person you hear a melody called love.

 

words were spoken softly
through that electrical voice
smile was carved perfectly
came up with unforgettable laughter

boosted up all the lost energy
in this tired body
until мγ two feet were ready
to tap on the dance floor

was just mξ but felt as if
your pretty eyes were staring at these moves

was helplessly nothing but moving
through the music with empty head

heart skipped the beats
rhyming through мγ tapping feet
over and over until I can’t count
as I knew yőυ were standing there

I ran back to yőυ
right when the melody was stopped
but all I heard was nothing through мγ ears
but the rhythm of Ľovε

do you love it or hate it? this is just the first five verses out of, correct me if I'm wrong, 13 verses. The post I made in Plurk was so long, so I must split them into more than a poem. This one is the first, which title is like the title of this post. Please give comments!

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To Love You At Your Worst

Today I finally got Adam Lambert's new single, Better Than I Know Myself. Such a beautiful music combined with beautiful lyrics, performed by beautiful voice. So inspiring. I am inspired.

This morning actually I have been thinking about some words I want to put in my new poem, but I still had no idea of the title and the content. But then after I listened to Better Than I Know Myself for maybe 5 times in a row LOL I got idea for a new poem, which title is At Your Worst. 

Like the lyrics in Better Than I Know Myself, my poem is also about can't let go of someone we love. We love him/her so much, but there are times we want to leave, but in the end we come back to him/her because we can't let him/her go. In Adam's song, the reason of not letting go is because the person knows us better than we know ourselves. But in my poem, the reason is because the person is the one for us and likewise. 

So, do you love it or hate it? Please drop some words!

I'm not looking for someone like you

I'm looking for you

The perfection with imperfection

The beauty with deep scar

To love you at your worst

Is the reason I was born in this world

When people look for a reason to love

Love is my reason to start

You're not my dream comes true

Because my reality is about you

There are times I can hate you too

But I can't find why I must leave you

I'm knocking on your door patiently

Waiting for you to let me in

I'm calling out your name silently

Hoping for you to hear and come in

You may not be what I'm looking for

But you're the one who completes me

And I may not be what you dream of

But I'm the one you need only

Oh...I edited some words a little. Still it doesn't change the content of the poem.

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Standing Out

I am wondering this morning of who I should be and what kind of girl I must be, and all I know is I love being me. though sometimes I feel like wrong being me for I ain't no like any other girls, but like I can change myself to be someone else.  

 

why would I try to fit in if I'm best at standing out?  

 

 

enough for me that in this life I ain't no fit in society, instead I found people who can accept my uniqueness. 

 

people think of me as strong and solid, unlike any other girls, and I won't deny it for it is who I am. instead of being afraid that my strength will scare people, I'd love more to think of what I can do for people with this strength.  

 

I want to give strength to the weak and inspire the lost.
 

I want to dare the quiet to speak up and bring the sad to laughter. 

 

I want to find keys to open locked doors and climb the high walls. 

I want to help people to love themselves by being the person they love to be.

And that's my way of standing out.

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Deadly Miss You

Yesterday I spent my whole day at home for some bed rest to cure injury on my knee. I, who lately is used to play outside, felt like somehow lonelier and I don't really like having a leisure time like that. Leisure time will let me think. When I think, I'll think deep. While thinking deep, I will recall. When I recall and think deep, I will imagine and hope. When my imaginations and hopes don't come true, I will fall hard and get hurt.

That's why I don't really like leisure time at home, doing nothing like that. Because I was born that way, the deep-thinker. 

But then, I just took the good side. I can get some rest and today my knee is getting better, though still it hurts when I walk and bend. I ate a lot too...errr I don't know whether it's good or bad because I officially gain weight -___- 

And I wrote a poem. I was some kind of inspired by a situation when you just met somebody yesterday, and you already miss him/her today as if you both haven't met for a long time. You feel stupid but you can't help it, you just have no choice but go with it. You deadly miss this person, as I title my poem. When you think of him/her, your heart beats faster than ever. You can't think of anyone else, until you wonder what happens with you and whether this person is made for you. Overrated, yes, LOL, but I think that's what art is about.

But I haven't written this kind of theme since long ago, so I tried to, and I spent a little much time writing this because I wasn't used to. So, do you love it or hate it? 

Call mξ mad or even insane
I even wonder where's мγ mind
Heart skips beat less than a  second
As in мγ head yőυ run around

I recall every moment wε passed by
More than I think of yőυ every day
Every move of yőυrs that caught мγ eye
Every smile of yours that let mξ die

Say whatever but I deadly miss yőυ
Yoυя eyes, yoυя laugh, and yoυя voice too
I miss times мγ dream came true
When I walked there right beside yőυ
It's just a day passed by, I know
But yesterday feels not enough to show

I don't get what happens to mξ
Мγ heart like screams uncontrollably
Calling for yőυ to set it free
Like nobody else could be made for mξ

Are yőυ the one I've been yearning for?
The sun that lights мγ earth brighter
If I loved yőυ, would yőυ love mξ more?
So wε can turn this world better

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Understanding Perfectly

Last Friday, I wrote a poem in less than 10 minutes right before I left office. The condition was funny, because the key holder was not in office, so my colleagues wanted to leave soon because the secretary must lock the door. But since I knew the secretary would visit bank first, I told her to leave first and I would lock the door. Everyone was agree, so I was left alone just for writing this poem. LOL.

This poem alone was inspired by a chat with my boy. He told me something like somebody said I wasn't fit for something I dream to have, while another person deserves it. I was like 'what? even this person only met me once but how come I was judged like that?' My head was spinning around, but then I found an inspiring song by Hey Monday, titled Set Off, which lyrics are about going on with something we deserve although everyone disagrees. And I also heard the secretary hummed Aku Milikmu by Dewa 19, then I downloaded and listened to it, which was also inspiring because the lyrics are about holding on someone we love no matter what people say.

The poem I made is some kind of different. I was like judged 'I don't understand what I dream about', so I thought quite hard. I thought we can never really understand anything, anyone, perfectly, especially anyone. Every person is just very typical and special, none of us are the same. That's why I think that understanding perfectly is nonsense, there's no such a thing. What we do with each other, especially with closest person, people we love, is not a pure understanding. It is more about giving space, time, and respect. We give them space to act and do what they like. We give them time alone with themselves when they feel comfortable most. We respect them, as long as they are not doing bad things. Even if it's bad, we only need to tell and and stop them. Whether they really will stop or not, it's their own concern and it will be their risk, not ours.

So, here's the poem. Unlike the title of this post, I titled it 'Understanding You.' Love it? Hate it? Check it out :)

I don't understand yőυ
I wasn't made to do that about yőυ
I was just born to Ľovε yőυ
Every single piece of yőυ

I don't understand yőυ
I never even promise that to yőυ
But all I can see in this world is yőυ
The one for mξ is none but yőυ

I don't understand yőυ
Nor listen to anything they say about yőυ
I am just here, right beside yőυ
Believing myself that I'm the one for yőυ
Catching every good out of bad things in yőυ
Giving space and respect to appreciate yőυ

I don't understand yőυ
Understanding mξ is not what I ask from yőυ
Just let mξ be an important part of yőυ
For replying this zillion of Ľovε to yőυ

I edited it when I retyped it in Torchy, so a few words would be found different from what I wrote in my agenda. Still it doesn't change the whole content.

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