Falling

Oh hello there!

So, I haven't updated this blog for some days since something bad happened to me. Well, I kind of lost my grip. Lost my pride, something I could hold on to. But indeed I realize that this is what I always want to happen, since I have already lost myself since long ago. And if I stayed, I bet I would be more lost than that. So, I'm already okay with that.

While walking on a new journey to find myself again, I wrote a poem. It's titled 'Falling', about a condition happening to me now. I fall, but I stand up to find my light back.

Do you like it or hate it?

I fell hard into this solid ground
Broken, injured, all I have is wound
I feel like screaming with no sound
Hoping for a place for mƐ to be found

There ain't such a heaven in the sky
All that I believed was just a lie
With these wings how would I fly
When I spend every second with none but cry?

No, this is not mƐ that I should be
I always known I was born to be somebody
Now that I'm finally set as free
I'm ready to stand up for this world to see

The light I shined now shine back at mƐ
The Ľovε I spread now fulfills mƐ
No matter who I am, nobody leaves mƐ
Like I did to them, they strengthen mƐ

No need for mƐ to be so afraid somehow
I realize this is мγ real time to grow
I will shine мγ light again and glow
Someday, somewhere, no matter fast or slow

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13/11

Who, of you, thinks that 13 is bad-luck number? Raise your hands!

Instead of bad luck numbers, to me 13 is good number. No, doesn't mean it's a good-luck one to me, but I kind of like it beside 11 and 7. Yes I always love odd numbers.

Inspired from 13 and 11, not 7 and 11 because that would make a name of a famous convenience store, I tried to write a funny poem. I also tried to combine with one of my favorite restaurant lately, McDonald's, oh damn how I love the egg in their PaNas but trust me they don't pay me to do this, this is all my idea. 

so this is about two opposite friends who were match-made by their friends in McDonald's with a fake wedding. But since then it seemed that love grew between them, and one of them hoped that in the future they'd make the real wedding. the one who hoped is the subject of this poem, which title is Thirteen.

Love it? Hate it?

Yőυ got that glass of coke in yoυя hands
I got pieces of fried chicken in мγ hands
Wε were in McDonalds with some friends
For a dinner wε needed after some dance

They said wε deserve a sweet wedding
It didn't matter if wε don't have the ring
As long as wε got our fingers touching
It was a sign where the march should swing

Thirteen in the eleventh of two k eleven

Three months passed, I still feel the moment
I loved yőυ too much like a burden
But yőυ didn't Ľovε mƐ back even

Until then I didn't know what happened
Whenever I gave up, I unconsciously returned
For yőυ turn sweeter and obedient
As if yőυ are a proof of мγ existence

The fake ceremony wε laughed loudly at
Was like a fate of how wε're so attached
Yőυ're always the one that I'm looking at
The way I'm the one for yőυ to be heard

Yőυ're in yoυя world of colors and lines
That keeps yőυ in comfortable silence
Мγ world is about rules and interactions
That sticks mƐ into crowd and heavy speech

That's how wε're made for each other
And that's the reason wε are together
Wε'll repeat the thirteen this or next year
When God shows the path for us to cross over

Oh my, this could make a romantic comedy story too.

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You Can't Read

You can't read a book from a distance. You need to get closer and take a look of its cover. If you do attracted by a book from its cover, come and look closer so that you see clearly the detail of its cover.

You can't read a book without touching its cover. You need to touch the cover to make sure this book is real. You can't only dream to read a book. If you really want to read it, and you know it's worth reading, make it true. 

You can't read a book without opening it's first page. You need to look to the inside of the book. How? By opening the first page. Reading the first chapter. You will never know whether the book is worth reading if you haven't read the first chapter, first page. If you found it isn't worth reading, you can make a decision in the middle of your reading and leave the book. That time, you have read it even though just a little part of it. You must have learned something from the book you read.

And if you didn't read the book the way I mentioned above, you would only get things wrong.

This post is based on a lesson I learned from my own experience in "reading a book."

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Beautifluential

Beautifluential.

By looking at that word, you can tell that it's a unity of Beautiful and Influential. Yup, this is a word made by me. LOL. I have once made a word named Crushophobia in the early 2010, now I unconsciously made a new one. Of course, this one has different definition with Crushophobia. 

Beautifluential is, once again, beautiful and influential. It's a word I unite to describe a person who has good look and is smart, so that he/she can influence his/her surroundings. This kind of person is usually easy to idolize and admire, because he/she is like a role model. Everybody wants to be like him/her.

 beautifluential princess and prince

Indeed the case is ain't that easy. 

A beautifluential person is not always a totally nice person. He/she might be beautiful and smart, but how about his/her attitude and manner? It depends on each person and each person's opinion. Beautifluential I mention here is just to mention someone with good look and brilliance, I don't talk about manner and attitude. This person could be a jerk, a bitch, or anything hate-able. He/she might be adorable in a community, but in the others he/she is hated.   

Still, beautifluential person makes me envy.

Beautifluential can also be used to call a group consists of beautiful and influential people. They become a package of beautiful and influential when they are together. A couple also counts, when a handsome man and pretty woman look so fit together, their beauty collide, and the world dreams of them to be married. Everyone dreams of a partner like the beautifluential man and woman. Um...this case is in heterosexual couple.

Being beautifluential is not an easy thing. To be beautiful, you need to be very confident. If there are wrong things you feel in your appearance, you must change it until you believe you are beautiful. To be smart, you need to learn much lessons. Not only academically, but also by talking with people, reading situations and conditions, analyzing problems, and finding solutions to every dead-end. I bet, beautifluential people are tough people.

Let's be beautifluential and rock the world!

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Friend

What does a friend mean?

It could be a part of you. A part of your life. Your days. Your every time. An important one. Someone you can depend on who can also depend on you at the best and worst condition. It should be.

But how do you find the true one? How can you recognize who the true one is, in the crowd? 

A friend will stay when you say you want to be alone. Not beside you, but he/she is watching you from a distance, to keep sure you are okay. And when you fall, a friend will catch you. Not to get hurt together, but to remind you that even when you get hurt, he/she will always be with you. A friend will remind you that you are never alone.

A friend takes you for who you are. He/she never ask you to be anyone else. But when you do wrong, he/she will tell you to do the right. When your personality harms people, he/she will ask you to change for a better condition. A friend might be tired of hanging out with you, especially when you're worst, but he/she will always hold on you if you hold on him/her. 

I may not did my best, but I wrote a poem titled 'Friend.' It's a request from my best friend since long ago, but I did not make it until tonight before I went to bath. Do you love it or hate it? 

Outside it's raining hard
When I don't know where to start
Left alone, I scream out
To people I was used to trust

Together with a cup of chocolate
I swallow this wound to мγ throat
Running out of even a word
To explain how deep it hurts

Contrary to the water so deep
I have nothing I can call grip
Every secret is mine to keep
Loneliness is мγ partner in this trip

But yőυ came along naturally
Accept mƐ close to perfectly
Yőυ set мγ prisoned soul free
Tell mƐ that I have to be mƐ

Yőυ are like a light that I see
When I'm lost of nowhere to be
Teach mƐ how a friend should be
And never leave mƐ easily

Yőυ pull mƐ out from darkness
With sincerity and caresses
I remember now what friendship means
In all our happiness and sadness

Now I can't imagine life would be
If yőυ were never beside mƐ
Yőυ always love wholeheartedly
When the world refuses the worst of mƐ

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A Night to Remember: Love You at Your Worst

If you feel familiar with the title, I'm not surprised. This is the sequel of my previous posts about a song I wrote with friends and a small live show in fX.

In the beginning of February, I went karaoke again with my songwriting friends Budi, Dwan, and Endy. But since Endy was curious with my friend's voice, Gita, and we had a chance to ask out Alit, the singer of Love You at Your Worst, also Endah, another friend of ours, 7 people went dinner and karaoke together.

The epic moment was not the noisy karaoke session, but the small live show we made after. Again, since the piano and sound system were still in fX, we played that again, but now we sang Love You at Your Worst, and it was recorded. Poor that there was no mic, so if you want to listen to the vocal you must turn loudest your speaker volume.

Turn out, that was a good one. I don't know why in the chorus part I messed up with my low voice, making as if the song was performed duet LOL. I was so happy that my song could really be performed. As the songwriter, I feel proud and amazed at the same time. Probably every songwriter feels the same way in the first time his/her song is performed. 

 the Love You at Your Worst team

But after the performance was finished, out of nowhere a security came and told us not to play the piano, even asked us where we were from. When we told him we were just visitors, he forbid us to play, so we stopped while we planned to perform another song. The awkward thing was we were stopped right before the second performance, it was as if the security waited for us to finish the first performance to warn us. LOL. 

After all, we had a great night. Gotta do it all again!

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