Just Asshole

Assholes do exist.

Ugh.

 Every human is asshole to the other in many different ways. Everyone is potential to be. Nobody is perfect, no human being is saint. Trust me, if you found a person whom is angelic for everyone, you better doubt that such person is a human.

But at this time, I'm not gonna talk about human as asshole. I'm gonna talk more specified, which is about kinds of asshole. And what are they?

1) Asshole by accident, and 2) Asshole by default

Admit it, they exist. Both are dangerous, but not in the same rate. And how can we differ them? Sure, I will define them one by one first, then my definition can be your measure to differ these assholes.

Asshole by accident

This kind of asshole is normal people like all of us. They only turn asshole when there are things that annoy them, piss them off, make them mad, or such. This kind of asshole is so human being, the difference is just they become more asshole than human in common. Annoying? Yep. Better to stay away from them? Yep, but only when they are mad. And when interacting with this kind of asshole, watch your action and words once you already found out the reason why they're assholes.

Asshole by default

This kind of asshole is also normal people but only from the outside. I have no idea why, but I think they were just born asshole. The difference with the previous kind of asshole is: this kind of asshole is annoying all the time, without reason. When they speak, they hurt the opponent. When they act, they piss the opponent off. None of their words nor actions are right. Even when we speak nicely to them, they will still hurt us. They will always find a way to kick our head, make us scream like 'what the fcuk???'. Too bad, this kind of asshole still has friends around, whom are not assholes because they are too good people who can tolerate this asshole, which on the other side, will make this asshole stays asshole. Annoying? VERY. Better to stay away from them? RECOMMENDED. If you had nothing to do with them, DO NOT ever communicate with them or you will end up killing yourself because of their attitude towards you.

Well, maybe I spread hate through this writing, but I just can't help myself not to write this. I am basically guiding myself in facing assholes, also to remind myself to stop being an asshole.  

We are human, we love, we hate, we care, we don't. To hate is nonsense and useless, but still, if you can't help it, don't hate basing on differences (of races, religion, social status, etc.) but hate basing on this rate of asshole. Don't hate someone because he's poor, hate him because he's asshole. Don't hate her because she is albino, hate her because she's asshole. Make this asshole thingy as your reason to hate, because to hate basing on differences is so Before Century.

And remember my last words: beware, I repeat, BEWARE of asshole by DEFAULT.

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Hate is Love

Do you ever hate anyone in your life?

No worries. It's human being. To hate, to love, to give damn, to give none, it's all about being a human. I never known anyone who never felt those feelings. Because if I did, I must have met an angel. Or God, maybe.

At the time being (aha, now I sound like my boss) I want to talk about the 'hate'.

We must have ever hated anyone. The reason is various. Maybe he/she annoys us. Maybe he/she has different opinion. Maybe he/she stabs us is the back. Maybe he/she stains our names. Maybe he/she is more beautiful. Maybe he/she is smarter. Maybe he/she is richer. Maybe he/she wins heart of people we expect to be our lovers. And there are still lots of maybe I haven't mentioned here. But we must have ever experienced hating someone. Maybe not openly, maybe silently. We can do it by many ways.

What do you think when you hate someone?

I ever once, twice, posted in December last year. It was about a wicked witch in a village. Yes, it was about an unwanted employee in my previous office. I hated him, so much. And because I hated him, everything he did looked wrong in my eyes. Including ordinary actions. Actions that, before I hated him, looked fine in my eyes. 

But then I realize. When I hated him, I was thinking of him. He was in my mind, as a person I hated. His particular actions were running in my mind. His annoying voice was echoing in my head. He was simply in my mind until we finally cut all our connections. Then, what was the difference between him and my friends? What was the difference between him and my family? Both of them are always in my mind, right?

Yes, the feeling is different. Still, all of them are in the same places: my heart and mind.

So, why can't we conclude that he was as important as my friends and family?

Because if he wasn't, he wouldn't be anywhere in my life. None of him would be in my heart and mind. I would give no damn about him, wouldn't even think he was alive.

My question is now: don't you think that 'hate' is a different way to 'love'?

I have reached such a conclusion. 'Hate' is a different way to love. You hate him? Yes, you love him. You hate her? Yes, you love her. Because do you know why parents yell to their kids when the kids make mistakes? Yes, because they love the kids, but they show it with a 'hate' action.

The difference is only one: to hate is tiring and giving bad impact to our heart and mind. Do you want to discuss about this? I don't. I think it's obvious. You may contact me personally to talk about it, if you want to.

Love your haters. Because like your family and friends, you have special places in their hearts.

p.s: I have made a reconciliation with the 'hated' ex-coworker. We're friends again like nothing ever happened :)

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A B*tch Like Me

If there were a job that I am 100% qualified to fill, it must have been a b*tch.

Why?

Well, it's obvious. I'm so b*tchy, maybe even b*tchier than any b*tches in this world.


First of all, I'm a hater. Yeah, a hater. Hater who is gonna hate. If you might be one of my Twitter followers, you will see my harsh tweet, full of hate.

I hate the government of this country, its bureaucracy, its complicated procedures, its broken system, and its corrupt people. I hate the leaders of this country who are so slow in reacting whenever an issue about public welfare, health, safety, etc. comes up. I hate the president of this country who only thinks about his image, who is so lame, so chicken, and so crybaby. He's a total drag queen. King. Whatever.

I hate music in this country. I hate singers, and those who mention themselves as musicians, who don't have talent and will, but still recording lame songs and sell them in market, and give people no choices, make people must love it because it's the only choice. I hate their lame crybaby music, I hate their broken lyrics that destroy the face of art, because there is no more beauty there.

I hate media in this country. I hate those female magazines because they always push fat women, yet stand on skinny women's side as if fatties don't deserve to live. I hate those religious magazines that spread hate to other religions. I hate newspapers because of their absurd and one-sided news. I hate TV's, the most, for its useless programs that don't give education, for its sh*tty sinetron and reality shows, and of course those damn stupid infotainment.

Second, I don't love and trust anyone. I just make friends with people I like and liking me, and try to act nice to them so that they'll be nice to me. I try to be a good dependable person, but I don't expect anything from anyone. If they like me, they'll stay. If they don't, they may leave.

Third, I am not religious. I have one, but it's just to worship God. Religion, to me, is a way to worship God and a guidebook to treat God's creatures. I don't dress the way my religion asks. I rarely read my holy book because I've finished reading it for about 3-5 times. I do prayers, as early as I could, but I am okay with doing it kinda late. I don't hear people who said 'doing prayers in the last minutes wouldn't be accepted by God' because they are damn not God! I like people who have different religions with mine, and to team up with them is fun. I even sometimes wanna join their feasts just because they look fun, just because I can meet so many people and having fun with them.

Forth, I am cynical. Yeah, I guess I was born this way. My close friend in high school told her best friend before me like this: 'look at how she speaks, then don't wonder if I speak cynically to you'. I don't mind with that. That friend of mine doesn't mind too. Almost everyone never been troubled with that. This is me. How I speak is something attached to me, it's a trademark. That was why when one of my ex said he hated my cynical speak and asked me to change it, I yelled a lot in Twitter after we broke up. Wow, yeah, that's so b*tch of me.

Fifth, I love power. I'm dreaming of an authority. I want to be a leader. I want to own a TV station, I want to lead PSSI, I want to be a president of this country, and being other leaders I might haven't think about yet. Guys are afraid of me because of this, that is why no matter how pretty I am, most men always end up as my friends, not more. They can't seem to handle me. I don't care, I don't need being handled, I can take care of myself. And I think I just haven't met a man who can handle me. Yeah, that outstanding man who was made for a b*tch. LOL.

Sixth, I don't easily smile to people.

Seventh, I am moody, which is getting worse in PMS period.

Eighth, I am rebellious, even to my parents. They wanted me to go to science class (IPA) in high school, I went to social class (IPS). They wanted me to be a doctor or designer, I wanted to be a lawyer. They put me in design school, I went to law school. They want me to apply job as public employee (PNS), I applied in private companies and law firms. But in the end I'm still their b*tchy little girl, so they could only support this stubborn me. Thanks, parents, for understanding this b*tch so well. LOL.

Well, is that all? I have no idea. Maybe some friends of mine can add more, I know they know better than me about this b*tchy me. All I know is I'm officially a b*tch and I'm not ashamed to say it. I rather say I'm a b*tch instead of a saint, because saying that I'm a saint gives a heavy burden and social responsibility that I might not be able to handle. If I claimed myself as a saint, I must do all the good things properly in the straight way, and once I turned aside, I would not forgive myself and people in this world would despise and judge me as if they're the real saints.

So, I don't wanna burden myself, not even other people.

I'm a b*tch, and I'm okay with that.

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NO H8

Why do we hate?

Lately I heard news about hatred actions. Hate the gays, hate them who are different from us. Hate them who have different faith. Hate them who praise different God. Hate them who don't do things the way we want to. Hate them who hurt us. Hate them in the past, don't bring them to present. Hate them. Screw them.

Why?

I think nothing good ever comes from hatred. It gives us negative feelings, bad emotion, bad mood, bad attitude, etc. Nothing good that hatred can give us. Nothing at all.

If some people are different from us, just appreciate it. If they praise different God, just let them because it's a human right. If they have different faith, just appreciate and let them have that faith because there's nothing to do with us. They don't disturb people with their differences. They just want to have such faith, praise such God, because they want to. Why do we hate them? What have they done to us? Hurt us? No! Disturb us? No! Insult us? No!
What do we hate them for, then?

If some people have different sexuality, they love people from same gender, just let them. Appreciate them. Help them get through the hard times. Don't hate them, because what do we hate them for? They don't diss us with their sexuality. They don't disturb us with their activities. They just love people from same gender. If we hate them, furthermore do things against them, will it help them? Will it change their sexuality? I guess No. So why do we hate them? What do we hate them for?

If some people do things the way they want to, which are sometimes against our way, just let them as long as they don't disturb or harm everyone else nor anything else. Remember, everyone is never like any others. Everyone is special in his/her own way, everyone is allowed to have whatever will they wish to have. Everyone is allowed to do things by their own way. As long as they don't disturb nor harm everything, why do we hate them? What do we hate them for?

If some people hurt us in the past, just let them. Don't bully nor diss them in the present. Things have happened in the past, and past will just be past. There's nothing to do with the present. We must learn to forgive. Maybe we can't forget, but we must forgive. Forgive and let go, don't discuss about what they did to us again. Because keep hating them won't give us anything good. It won't change the past. Especially if they have apologized to us, why do we still hate them? What do we hate them for?

If some people hate us, don't reply it by hating them back. Instead, look back to ourselves. Find things that might made them hate us. We, human, can't escape from doing terrible things to people, that is why we must always fix and fix ourselves everytime we realize what we did was wrong. Don't hate back, just come up with the new better version of ourselves. Instead of hating them back, don't you think we actually owe many thanks to them? Because of they hate us, we can look to ourselves and find out what we have done wrong. We can be a better person because they hate us! So, why do we hate them? What do we hate them for?

Start from now on, stop hating. Always put in our mind to live with NO HATE. Just bring positive energy to the world, have a positive mind and heart, love others, appreciate others, care to others. And make this world a better place for everyone :)

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Rival, Enemy, Friend

Human is a creature made with heart. by the heart, she/he can feel anything to anything and anyone. one feeling I notice here is hatred. we used to hate some people by some reasons. maybe they don't speak politely, maybe they're liars, maybe they whine too much, maybe they act real bad and hurt people we love, and still there are many reasons of hatred.

one reason I notice about this hatred is: because they do what we do, they love what we love, they can even do it better so that they conquer us.

yeah, we used to hate people because they have the same interest with us. and we'll hate them more when they take away something/someone we love, leave us alone with an unrequited feeling. we'll hate them more when they do things we do in some better ways. we'll hate them more when they feel what we feel in some more sincere ways.

in such condition, we might say that: "how come they get it? I am the one who deserves it more! they are not even qualified enough to have it!" but in the end we know we have to take things sincerely, and tell ourselves that 'something/someone' we love before might not be the best for us. might not be what we need, so that we didn't have it.

and then time goes by. things change. there comes a condition where our rival has lost that precious thing they had taken from us long ago. we might be surprised, or whatever, but eventually we will open the gate. we will throw away whatever distance between us and our rival. we will start talking to them, no matter how awkward it is. then we found out...we and our rival have lots of similarity. which had made us love and do the same thing in the old times.

we and our (ex) rival might spend some times together, talking, sharing about many things. maybe not about our competition in the past, but anything worth a lot more than that. even if it's about our competition, we'll just laugh about it, remind each other of how stupid we were, how silly things have been all the time.

the more we share, the more we might discover...that we and our rival are understanding each other so very well.

that is why, I think the statement on my favorite manga, Glass no Kamen, was right. it was said there that: my one and only rival is the one and only closest person to my heart.

really, I think it's truly true.

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