Showing posts with label move on. Show all posts
Showing posts with label move on. Show all posts

3/8/13

Sahabat yang Menyakitkan


Sahabat menyampaikan kenyataan meski menyakitkan demi menyelamatkanmu

Setujukah?

Aku setuju.


 Memang butuh teknik penyampaian yang baik agar usaha penyelamatan itu dapat diterima dengan semestinya. Karena mana ada manusia yang senang menerima berita menyakitkan? Mana ada kabar menyakitkan yang bisa diterima manusia dengan hati lapang? Kalaupun ada, kabarnya pasti sudah basi atau yang menerimanya bukan manusia.

Tapi se-menyakitkan apapun, lebih baik mengetahui kenyataan daripada, seperti kata Rumor dalam lagunya Butiran Debu, terus-menerus tenggelam dalam lautan luka dalam. Setidaknya pasti itu yang terpikir oleh salah seorang sahabatku ketika ia menunjukkan padaku file beberapa foto yang kemudian menjadi titik balik penyelesaian masalah percintaanku dengan salah satu mantan pacarku.

Ceritanya kurang lebih seperti ini. Aku pada saat itu belum lama putus dan bertekad untuk move on secepatnya. Sayangnya tekadku itu seperti hanya sebatas kata, karena nyatanya aku tetap berkoar-koar tentang mantanku itu di Twitter, entah dalam bentuk nasihat, sindiran, caci-maki, dan lain-lain. Sampai suatu hari sahabatku ini, yang memang sebelumnya adalah rekan kerja mantanku, pergi berlibur dengan mantanku dan mendapati mantanku ini langsung dekat dengan salah satu peserta tour cewek yang baru dia kenal. Mereka berfoto dengan pose-pose mesra yang menurutku di luar batas wajar untuk lawan jenis yang baru saling mengenal. Aku berprinsip bahwa lawan jenis, selain keluarga, hanya akan berfoto mesra bila mereka adalah 1) sahabat yang sudah sangat dekat, atau 2) pasangan kekasih. Sahabatku itu juga menceritakan bahwa mantanku itu memang melakukan manuver-manuver untuk mendekati cewek itu. Kemudian dia menunjukkan foto-foto itu kepadaku, dan pada saat itu aku sepenuhnya sadar bahwa yang harus kulakukan memang hanya satu: move on.

Terlepas dari benar atau tidaknya cerita sahabatku, rekayasa atau bukan foto-foto yang ditunjukannya padaku, atau apa motif sebenarnya di balik dia menunjukkan foto-foto itu kepadaku, aku tidak peduli. Aku tidak bisa melihat motif buruknya, meskipun kabarnya (dan menurut ceritanya sendiri) dia memang memutuskan hubungan rekanan dengan mantanku dengan alasan ketidaknyamanan bekerja. Dan berdasarkan pengakuannya, dan juga menurut pendapatku, dia memang melakukannya UNTUK MEMBUATKU MOVE ON SEPENUHNYA. Hanya itu. Dia berpikir bahwa aku tidak seharusnya membelenggu diriku dalam masa lalu dengan mantanku itu, dan bahwa mantanku itu tidak layak diharapkan olehku karena aku layak untuk kesempatan baru yang lebih baik.

Dan itu cukup bagiku untuk memasukkan namanya dalam daftar sahabat.  

Aku tidak pernah tahu maupun bertanya apakah dia juga menganggapku sahabat, tapi sejauh ini hubungan pertemanan kita baik. Dan aku tidak peduli hal itu, karena bagiku sahabat bukan orang yang juga menganggapku sahabat. Sahabat bukan kekasih, perasaan itu tidak perlu dua arah. Cukup bagiku dengan tindakannya menarikku dari lautan luka dalam saat itu, dan dengan selalu berusaha ada untukku dan juga sebaliknya, mengandalkanku.

Lalu seberapa berani kamu menyampaikan kenyataan yang menyakitkan demi menyelamatkan temanmu?

Sejujurnya bila pertanyaan itu ditujukan kepadaku, aku akan menjawab aku belum cukup berani. Daripada membuatnya mengetahui kenyataan yang menyakitkan, aku lebih suka bergerilya di belakangnya untuk mencarikan jalan keluar lain sehingga akhir kisah temanku tidak akan terlalu menyakitkan. 

Maka bersyukurlah kamu bila memiliki teman yang mau memikirkanmu, meski harus dengan cara menyakitimu. Dan dengan menyakitimu itu dia tahu mungkin kamu akan membencinya, asalkan kamu keluar dari penderitaanmu. Sungguh, bersyukurlah.  

Berpikirlah.   

2/3/13

Moving On Like Taylor Swift

Moving on. Easier said than done.

It indeed is. Moving on from a past, especially the ones with hurting farewell, is quite hard. The wound is haunting, even the will to go back to the past keeps tempting. We forgot that once it hurts, we are ought to leave as soon as possible.

We forgot that we deserve the proper happiness more than the past we left behind.

Here in this post I am talking about moving on from a failed relationship. From a heartless ex-lover who heartlessly left us, or whatever you name it. And I just simply want to talk, without judging or such, because I have been in this difficult position for more than once, so I know exactly how it feels to be moving on difficultly.

Three months ago I just failed a relationship again. I was broken, could not stop myself from crying. I kind of still believed that the ex-boyfriend shall come back to me somehow because I believed that we were a completion so that we should stay together. Yes, I was stuck on him. The good news was he also seemed to stuck on me, so that he tried to reach me but I kinda wanted to punish him by not responding easily to his poor communication.

At the same time, I kept eyes on someone else, whom was nearly impossible to be mine due to the distant of age. I mean, I was not sure that he would want to be mine according to the 'age' issue. Still, he was considered as worth fighting for, so I went forward on him as well as I expected my ex to come back.

Until one day my eyes were opened.

I tried to talk with the ex and all he said was he did not want to talk due to bad mood. I was disappointed and decided to stop expecting his comeback. At the next day, the 'new guy' gave me good signal while we hung out together with friends, so that when the ex tried to talk to me that day I did not respond since I wanted to respect this 'new guy' who has responded me well. I did not know that I already made the right decision.

This 'new guy' keeps giving me the signal, even he gave me green light, especially since we became desk mates when our seats were rotated by the boss (to me, ex-boss). And in the new-year days, I was like in between of his green light and my ex's communication attempt. Still, I went for what's worthy, and I did made the right decision, again. 

He is currently mine by the beginning of the year.

The lesson I learn is that moving on is hard to do, while on the other side it is your choice. Yes, moving on is a choice. Whether you want your present to stay with the past or move forward with the future. 

Taylor Swift is one good example of someone who moves on quickly. She truly is my idol both in music and life. The way she changes boyfriends quickly is, in my opinion, adorable. Even though people said she is not persistent, compared to her songs which lyrics are usually about beautiful fairytale love, I still think she is adorable. It means that even though she changes boyfriends quickly, each love story means much to her that makes her able to write adorable lyrics in her every song. 



And I think she just easily realizes that to stay in the past is not quite worthy. Taylor just thinks to take every new chance that brings her to the new future instead of staying with the past that brings her nowhere. Either it is to go out with someone new or go back with the previous ex-lover. Currently I hear that Taylor has just left someone-Kennedy and is going out with one of her ex, Harry Styles, which means she gives him second chance.

At this condition, mine and hers are different. I do not say that second chance is wrong, but before giving it there are some things to be considered, that convince us that this person (ex-lover) really deserves it. Taylor should have considered this well and convinced that Harry deserves it, so that she decided to leave that Kennedy guy and go out with Harry. And it counts as moving on as well.

Oh and one more thing to be noticed well, moving on could be performed perfectly when there is a new place where we can move. Taylor found it. I found it. Once it happened, why not giving our hearts a chance? Taylor deserves it. I deserve it. We all deserve it.

So, moving on quickly like Taylor Swift? Why not?

4/1/12

April Surrender

I don't usually do poem request. But the crowd seems to want me to write one (or maybe more until they're satisfied).

This poem is about 'move-on' moment. You know...you're in love (in this poem, maybe with your best friend) and you're hopeless, then you know you have to let go. Such things. Um...I guess I ever made such poems before, in around November. But it was not by request. LOL.

Writing a poem is totally my hobby, not my passion. So it's a little bit weird to do request since this is not my job and I'm not professionally required. But why not seeing this as a new lesson to learn? Like my most favorite line in this poem: 'loving you wasn't a regret definitely, every day is a lesson learned for me.'


Since I wrote this today in the morning when the sun shone bright and I was on the way to Kelurahan to make E-KTP, I feel like this gloomy poem seems cheering instead. I guess the weather influenced my mood. And I title this as 'April Surrender' because, I repeat, I wrote this today, April 1st.

Do you like it or hate it?

The sun is shining brightly
Today is going like usually
The difference is just in me
This early April is kind of gloomy

Last night I finally realized
Picking you has been wrongly decided
Not that my eyes were stubbornly closed
Just nobody let them wide opened

But put all your trust in me
Nothing will change between you and me
You're still a friend you can be
You still got my back perfectly
Loving you wasn't a regret definitely
Every day was a lesson learned for me

It's 10AM, everything's stable
Giving up on you, will I be able?
Most of the time I will stumble
Now I won't, this is unbreakable

For everything I did, I'm sorry
I bet all my poems kept you worry
But to have you stay around calmly
I believe you're a friend undoubtedly

Thank you for being in my life
Because of you I know how to be wise
Every little truth I saw in your eyes
Let me see how I'm worth alive

Honestly I know the words are not original, not typical. But I quite like it. How about you?