Being Special

I watched a TV commercial someday. Inside, there was such a dialog:
A: Why am I not like everyone else?
B: Why should you be like everyone else?

Very wise. But then I think again about the dialog, I keep questioning myself the same thing, and answer myself with the same thing, until I find a new answer.

Because people always like 'everyone else.'

I have always prove it. People always like 'everyone else.' When you're unlike everyone else, you're special, people do adore you. Yes, they adore you, respect you, shower you with compliments, and else. But, they don't love you. They don't choose you. They are afraid of you. Afraid of your specialty. Your brilliance. Your elegance. Your beauty. Your domination.

So, is it bad becoming unlike everyone else? Is it a sin to be better than everyone else? Is it not allowed to be special, like extraordinary?

NO.

You, special people, all you have to do is take and enjoy every compliment and admiration you get from ordinary people. If they don't love you, they don't choose you, then go ahead! You always and always deserve better place than you think ordinary people can give. Because there's always a special place for special people.

Never ever stop being special, and don't stop believing that you'll find the special place.

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Fairytale and The Exception

Do you believe in fairytale?

Have you ever found something in a crowd of people you despise the most?

Have you ever seen one different thing in the middle of hundred same things?

Are you really who you are?

I found something in a crowd of people I despise. When everything looked the same (and annoying), it was the only different thing. Like the only exception. I took a chance to take that exception and met hard ways, times when I feel like giving up and let go of the exception.

But exception is exception. It has always been since the first time. And it makes me believe in fairytale because I was in it. I believe there are times like a princess met her knight. It don't take ball dance nor white horse nor carriage nor glass shoes nor crown nor beautiful dress nor shining armor. Fairytale is about time. Time together.

And I am who I am. In the fairytale, I become a lady that I always dream to be.

Who cares of where this will go, expectation will only hurt when it is not about to be true. I ship my fairytale, my exception, and my lady-likeness in a treasure box.


*also posted in Facebook in Wednesday, December 1, 2010 at 10:42am

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It's A Brand New Day and I'm A Lawyer!

So, where should I start this story?

I finally officially resigned from my previous office. My resignation date was supposed to be November 8 due to my letter dated on October 8. But I took a week off, so that I haven't been working there since November.

Since last year, when I know I'd reach the first year in previous office, I have known that I must quit. I have applied jobs to anywhere I could apply, every company, firm, and institution that opened recruitment. But I never was accepted. I never passed any tests. It made me stay longer in that previous office until more than a year then.

I was almost accepted in a law firm nearby. But I'm not enough convinced since they never called me back no more. They seemed to be busy with their office movement to somewhere in South Jakarta. I also considered that movement, because they picked a place that was so far from my house. So I never contacted them no more, the way they never did to me.

Time just went by, I applied, had tests, and so on. But I never was accepted nowhere, still. Day by day I was more convinced to leave the office. I told everyone that I was going to leave soon after I got a new job.

Being rejected everywhere, I finally realized to look closer around me. I remembered my previous office has a tenant which is a law firm. I knew then, why don't I find out whether they need new staff or not? I can probably apply there. And if I were accepted, it'd be good since I don't have to go any further.

I really found out by an ex-colleague's help. That firm really was in need of new staff (I don't know the name, paralegal, associate, whatever). So I applied, I had an interview, and I was welcomed. Probably because the partner had known me when he made the rent contract. There was no such thing like legal/law test, I was only required TOEFL. Then I took EPT at LIA near my house (damn, the price was so high -_-). I was kinda unsure with the result since I was not good in the reading passage part. My vocabulary really is terrible, that is why.

I took the test result, and I think I got bad score. I got lower score than the last time I took EPT, but what can I say? I submitted the certificate helplessly to that firm and waited for the call.

I was told that the decision would be informed by the next day. So, I waited all day. It felt so long, I even asked my ex-colleague to find out whether I was accepted or not, and the answer was still that I have to wait. I waited and waited, I had lunch, and my phone looked like moved! I picked it enthusiastically and...DAMN, that was just a little move because the phone was on a slick place! Being upset, I continued eating my lunch.

Then in about 2pm, I got a phone call from...that Firm!!! I was excitedly picked it while leaving my desk, went to somewhere behind the room. I talked on the phone and...yes, I WAS ACCEPTED! I was told to start work in November because they considered my one-month notice resignation.

I told my boss that I must say goodbye to the previous office, and she understood. I wrote the resignation letter by the next day and gave it to HRD. Before I left, the previous office has hired a new legal staff, now male. I suppose he's a good one, diligent, and responsible. Better than me, I guess, since his experience was a-year working in a law firm.

Then, when November came, I came to this office! I am finally a lawyer! Of course not today, but I am stepping to be a lawyer. I am back to the lawyering world. I am back to an old dream I ever dreamed when I was younger. In the end I just can never forget that dream. I ever gave up, but I stood up and fight again.

I am kinda surprised because everything was so fast to learn in this new office. I have been to court (again, finally) in my 2nd day. I was asked to compose a legal opinion for a bank in my 4th day. Whoa! But says who I don't enjoy everything? I do enjoy this! I even want more jobs and things to learn. I wish I've found a job that I could love, since this is my dream. So happy and blushing when I told my friends I am now a (future's) lawyer, and they said 'well, congratulations, you're gonna have some fun since you've always dreamed to be a lawyer.'

It's a brand new day, I'm feeling good, and I'm a lawyer! \(^o^)/

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NO H8

Why do we hate?

Lately I heard news about hatred actions. Hate the gays, hate them who are different from us. Hate them who have different faith. Hate them who praise different God. Hate them who don't do things the way we want to. Hate them who hurt us. Hate them in the past, don't bring them to present. Hate them. Screw them.

Why?

I think nothing good ever comes from hatred. It gives us negative feelings, bad emotion, bad mood, bad attitude, etc. Nothing good that hatred can give us. Nothing at all.

If some people are different from us, just appreciate it. If they praise different God, just let them because it's a human right. If they have different faith, just appreciate and let them have that faith because there's nothing to do with us. They don't disturb people with their differences. They just want to have such faith, praise such God, because they want to. Why do we hate them? What have they done to us? Hurt us? No! Disturb us? No! Insult us? No!
What do we hate them for, then?

If some people have different sexuality, they love people from same gender, just let them. Appreciate them. Help them get through the hard times. Don't hate them, because what do we hate them for? They don't diss us with their sexuality. They don't disturb us with their activities. They just love people from same gender. If we hate them, furthermore do things against them, will it help them? Will it change their sexuality? I guess No. So why do we hate them? What do we hate them for?

If some people do things the way they want to, which are sometimes against our way, just let them as long as they don't disturb or harm everyone else nor anything else. Remember, everyone is never like any others. Everyone is special in his/her own way, everyone is allowed to have whatever will they wish to have. Everyone is allowed to do things by their own way. As long as they don't disturb nor harm everything, why do we hate them? What do we hate them for?

If some people hurt us in the past, just let them. Don't bully nor diss them in the present. Things have happened in the past, and past will just be past. There's nothing to do with the present. We must learn to forgive. Maybe we can't forget, but we must forgive. Forgive and let go, don't discuss about what they did to us again. Because keep hating them won't give us anything good. It won't change the past. Especially if they have apologized to us, why do we still hate them? What do we hate them for?

If some people hate us, don't reply it by hating them back. Instead, look back to ourselves. Find things that might made them hate us. We, human, can't escape from doing terrible things to people, that is why we must always fix and fix ourselves everytime we realize what we did was wrong. Don't hate back, just come up with the new better version of ourselves. Instead of hating them back, don't you think we actually owe many thanks to them? Because of they hate us, we can look to ourselves and find out what we have done wrong. We can be a better person because they hate us! So, why do we hate them? What do we hate them for?

Start from now on, stop hating. Always put in our mind to live with NO HATE. Just bring positive energy to the world, have a positive mind and heart, love others, appreciate others, care to others. And make this world a better place for everyone :)

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It's Left Unspoken

Dear Readers :)

About some months ago I was introduced to a man. He was amazing, adorable, kind, sweet, and has everything I could ask for. He loved me, cared about me, considered my opinions and words, and was sweet to me.

We decided to date finally. It went well like unbroken, I felt so right with him. His name is included in my last name, that's what I always see as 'sweet coincidence'. I liked him, and I loved spending my time chatting, texting, or talking with him on phone.

Too bad, we rarely met. I was always screaming so loud in Twitter if he was not around or contacting me. I was upset when he didn't respond to my tweets (and responded his friends instead) and acting as if I wasn't important when he preferred hanging out with his friends instead of visiting me at home or asking me out.

He couldn't stand it, neither could I. He couldn't sacrifice me for his business and friends. I held on, didn't want to break up, but what else can I do when he has given up? Nothing. I saw a glimpse of our worse future, when he really might abandon me worse or I might yell louder if we kept the relationship, that made me quit holding on and just gave up as well.

I don't regret that we broke up. I don't mind that he now hates me for I keep criticizing him in Twitter (sharply). I don't care.

I only regret that we never told each other how we love each other. It's okay that he didn't, but that I never said 'I love you' to him feels terrible. I want him to know that I decided to date him because I fell in love with him, not because I just want a partner to date.

I twat that I love him, but I never mentioned him. So many times. But still, I never told him directly that I love him.

I fell in love with some men right now, but what I feel for him seems to stay. I am holding on and moving on at the same time. I am facing it, I will not runaway.

'"I love you" remains unspoken. If I had a chance, I might take it just to tell you, no matter how you will react to it.'

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