5th Year and it's still you, Kohashi Kenji :)

I knew a man about 5 years ago. He wasn't a friend, nah, LOL, because I watched his performance in a dorama.


I love Glass no Kamen manga so much. in Indonesia, it's translated as Topeng Kaca. I've been reading mangas since I was in elementary school, so I think it's kinda weird if I don't read that one legendary manga. Then I was told by my girl that she owned the dorama CD of Glass no Kamen, so I borrowed and watched it.

I found the actors are kinda weird and mismatched the roles, like the actress who portrayed Himekawa Ayumi, she was pretty and acted well but not gorgeous enough to be Ayumi. And the actor who portrayed Hayami Masumi really was ridiculous because he wasn't handsome nor stunning at all, but still performed good acting. I paid a bit attention to the girl who portrayed Kitajima Maya because she was so cute and innocent, and performed very well.

But, who cares about all those people? Since the first episode, I couldn't take my eyes off of the boy who played Sakurakouji Yuu. He was just cute and innocent, and looked very simple. He performed well too, although he wasn't handsome enough to portray Sakurakouji. Thought he must be around 15 because he looked so young and plain hahah but still, I couldn't take my eyes off. Unlike the other Japanese male performers, I don't find him gorgeous nor has a celebrity aura. He was just taking all my attentions by his innocence and simplicity.


And what did I do next? Of course googling him, and I found his name was Kohashi Kenji.

I tracked and tracked him in all search engines I knew. Then I was surprised with a fact that he was born in 1979, so that he portrayed Sakurakouji in Glass no Kamen when he was 18 because that dorama was produced in 1997! How do Japanese always look younger than their ages? -_-

I found a fan-site of him, but it has been closed while my registration hasn't been approved by the admin. Sigh. This photo was in the front page.


well, I like it. LOL

He also had a website that he ran by himself. From his blog, thanks to Google Translate, I knew he loves traveling and photography a lot. Oh and surfing too. I first thought his new job is a photographer, but I was wrong, that was just his hobby. I tried to contact this man by comments in his blog posts, e-mail on his contact blog, but I never reached him. Until one day I found the website was closed and there was an announcement that he was remaking it.

After some months, or years, I forgot, (I think it was months because I've just spent the 5th year of knowing him LOL) his blog was opened again but only the front page, I couldn't see the contents. Until one day I found a blog of Tokyo Big Boys, but he seemed to be included. So I tracked and searched, again, and I found he built a DJ group with his partner, So, named Big Boys. Just if you want to know, you can read about them and their writings here.

I also found news that Kenji was back to acting world, including movies, but right now not only as the actor but also the director. He directed a documentary movie, which storyline is considered inspiring. The movie is titled Don't Stop, and I'd be gladly watching it if I could :3

Beside acting and DJ-ing, he is still traveling and photo-taking (well, nobody can't miss the hobby stuff), and makes promotion videos of a fashion brand named Soareak. I don't know whether he was the web designer or not, but I found the website is adorable and beautiful. He posted the videos too in Youtube, but I haven't watched it (yeah I'm so clumsy not to watch it before posting this). Later on I might write again after I watch it.

Things are getting closer. He had a Twitter account, which I followed but it seemed to be in trouble so he deactivated it. It was fun to have a direct updates right from him, so I was kinda sad when he deleted the account. But then he made another account again, YAY, and I followed him again until now :)

I'm still wondering what I like in Kenji. He's not that hot, not handsome. Cute, yeah, okay, but not too cute. He's even 31 going on 32 now, so old, so he's not as cute as when I first saw him in Glass no Kamen. But from his writings, both blogs and tweets, I can tell he's a good person. He worships God, although I don't know he's a religious one or just believing, and acts great to people. He has a lot of friends and fans. He appreciates nature.

I ever had a friend I knew from his website, we chatted, and she told me she ever saw Kenji directly and told me he really was handsome. Haha I think he's not handsome, still, but maybe that's a Japanese taste, I don't know.

Then, the disaster news in Japan shocked me. It was terrible to have such a huge earthquake and huge wave that caused tsunami. Everytime I knew the number of people die increases, I was like hurt. Haha weird eh, I didn't even feel like that about disasters in Indonesia, my OWN country. Maybe since I was kid I read mangas, I feel so connected to Japan. And I also worry about Kenji, although he don't live by the seashore. And I was glad to know he is okay when he updated his status in Facebook. Anyway, I haven't been approved by him in Facebook, sigh -_-

What surprised me was he kept tweeting and retweeting every news about the disaster. Every donation link, every information about missing people, and such things. To know that his Twitter followers has reached 2000, I think his tweets and RT's are very useful. I think he knew it so he used it to spread information, because I saw his tweets were RT'ed so many times by so many people.

And I was kinda touched to know he and his friends run a donation project called We Are The One. beside I love his picture in the website, LOL, I am amazed of how he cares about what happens in his country. In his tweets and Facebook status, he kept encouraging and affirming people in Japan to struggle and not giving up. He keeps believing that they're strong, and spread his belief to people to encourage them. That's what I call AWESOME. He's not selfish, he's using his link and fame to help and encourage people in disaster.

Unfortunately, I haven't reached him until now. He never approved me as friend in Facebook nor even responded to my mentions in Twitter. I know he has thousands of follower, but why not to respond me, at least one, when I complied or saying good things about or around him? Sigh ._.

I just hope one day we can be friends. He might not has an Indonesian friend, so I can be one, and from me he will know he can solo-travel to this country.

So, since I have spent 5 years keeping eyes on Kenji, there were times I quit but then I always come back, I doodled him. Yep since now I can doodle. Unfortunately when I mentioned him with this doodle, I wasn't still responded (sigh) but at least I tried. Oh I almost forgot to say that even until now I have no idea about his loving relationship status. Whether he's gay or straight. But I have a feeling he's a single straight. Just a feeling, I can just be wrong. And I guess he's single because he hasn't met me yet he still enjoys doing his jobs.

And here are the doodles I made

LOL I made this one just because I adore the Big Boys members' relationship. Kenji is so cute partnered with So, and from their blog posts (and tweets), I can tell they're very good partners. They don't always go anywhere together since they have their own side jobs beside DJ-ing, but how they keep in touch kinda amazes me. I mentioned both Kenji and So with this doodle, but only So replied me with a thank you and a compliment :)


this one I made for a celebration of 5 years since I knew him. LOL. I doodled him in that costume as Sakurakouji based on this photo

meh I know I drew wrong towel, whatever.

Last words, I hope he always got good luck in his job and life. That his relatives and friends are safe from the latest disaster. That we can be married be friends after all.

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Let the light shine on me ♪♫

In the previous post, I posted a song from Camp Rock titled This is Me (Gotta Find You) performed by Demi Lovato and Joe Jonas. Then I'm kinda inspired to write according to the lyrics.

So, have you ever found moments when you know you're exactly where you're supposed to be? Because it happened to me about 3 times :)

The first was when I was in 3rd grade of high school.

I was in social class instead of science class. I had always dreamed to enter social class since I was in middle school, because I realize science sucks (I mean I'm suck in science LOL) and I knew it more when in first and second grade of high school, no matter how hard I try to befriend with science, I always failed. So I always put in mind and told my parents and homeroom teacher that social class was the one made for me. Then I successfully went there, although my points allowed me to enter science. My homeroom teacher supported me. Mom supported me but she required me to gain a position in top 10 of the class, I accepted her challenge as a risk for acting against her wish to put me in science class. I was arguing with Dad because he insisted that I can still be successful in science class and it would smoother my way to college, but I said it was bullsh*t and disagreed, insisted to be in social class, that brought us in a kinda cold war after that LOL.

I really found my school time in social class. I just realize what's called 'studying' there. I love the subjects and befriend with teachers. I successfully got highest points in some subjects in class, and be in top 3 of class. Knowing I made it, my parents couldn't say anything against me. Social class was the place where I was supposed to be, and I was exactly there.

The second was when I was in law school.

Since in first class of high school, I have always told my friends how I wanted to study in law school after graduating from high school. I told my parents too, and, again and again, I argued with Dad about this. I dreamed to be a lawyer, he told me it was a dirty job that would taint me. But one day when I gave up to be in a law school in university that I dream to enter, and almost decided to enter another faculty, he stopped me and said miracles can happen if I believe and struggle (sh*t, tears almost drop when I remember this moment haha).

So I took the entrance test and checked my answers in a course I was in. From the result of that checking, I seem to fail the test. Not at all, I can still go to law school in my 2nd university choice, but Mom didn't allow me to study there since it was far from home (actually it wasn't that far, just in Bandung, she was just acting too much). But then I didn't understand what happened. When I was in first days in graphic design school that I entered as an alternative, I was accepted in law school in my 1st university choice. Well, maybe miracle did happen :D

I struggled when I was there, it wasn't easy, seriously. To have so many brilliant friends, I felt like so dumb. But I didn't give up, I just fell in love with my specialty program since the first time I step there. I entered the executive student organization, being active, and I seemed to find my school life there. My GPA was getting higher, I got so much friends, I learned so much lessons in class and organizations. I even applied as candidate for the executive president, but I was eliminated. Still, so much fun. Law school, and its organizations, was the place where I was supposed to be. And I really was there :)

The third is now, when I'm in a litigation law firm, and on my way to be a lawyer.

Should I still write about this? I think I have posted about this before, so I don't have to, right? LOL just kidding, I will.

I have passed my probation period, and now I'm the jobholder. Still not yet a lawyer, I haven't even taken the course nor the bar exam, but it doesn't matter. I was requested to work on some complicated cases that I never understood since I didn't take the subject in law school. But I can't give up, of course because I'm paid here haha, so I tried to finish 'em. Still so much fun, because every challenge, every assignment, is a new lesson I learn. I only took a few of economic law subjects, but I learn about them here when I worked on cases. So much fun.

And I'm still on my way to be an independent lawyer. I still dream to be, and I thank God that I didn't let go of that dream. This is the place where I'm supposed to be, and I'm exactly here.

This is real, this is me
I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be now
Gonna let the light shine on me
Now I found who I am
There's no way to hold it in
No more hiding who I want to be
This is me...

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Special Choices

Yesterday I went out lunch with ex-colleague in previous office. My previous office was a Public Service Body under the authority of Deputy of Marketing in a ministry.

She told me about two ex-colleagues who have resigned because they were accepted to work in the ministry, a boy and a girl. The boy's father was a SPV in my previous office, at the same time also an important respected person in the ministry. The girl's father-in-law is the secretary of the minister. This means they have special treatments and facilities during work.

The boy's father will be retired because of his age, so that my previous office would lose its SPV. And guess what happens? The boy is now in charge of his father's job. He is a public employee in ministry who's also a private employee in my prev office. And he has just begun his 2nd year as a public employee.

The girl is given a choice. Whether she wants her office in ministry or in prev office, and I heard rumors that she picked prev office. She just hasn't decided in which department she would work. And she has just accepted as a public employee in ministry from last year's entrance test. So, this is still her first workdays.

Whoa. It's so awesome to have parents who are important respected person in public department. In ministry. In government. Whatever. You can have your own choice. When others must give up of where they would be placed in placement section, you don't need to worry about anything because your parents, or people around your parents, will hand you choices. Or even if they don't give it, I guess you are allowed to request. Like...seriously. You can.

It's a beautiful life. A beautiful destiny. A great luck. A big chance that not everyone can get.

Compared to myself who is not a child of anyone in government, I would not get that chance. If I stayed in prev office, I might spend the rest of my life working as a legal staff, paid under 3 million IDR, and I would never ever be able to afford The Executive items for myself. I would never ever shop like a psychopath in online shops, I would never swipe my debit card so easily when I found big sale in malls. I would end-up as a pitiful employee, who's a graduate of a famous law school in this country but working in a wrong foolish office, which is related to our foolish government. Oh, and I would not be accepted as a public employee in ministry, for sure.

But if you ask me whether I'm jealous of those children, I say NO clearly.

I still prefer myself, my life. I work in a place I've always dreamed about, paid well enough (well at least now I can shop with my own money and my mother don't want to buy me stuff again for she knows my salary), I have great colleagues, nice boss, and I don't feel lack of anything in my job. I don't need those choices, I don't even want to apply as a public employee until I die. I have tried once working with public employees and I found it stinks too much, and I know that's not what I want to be.

Besides, who needs that choice if I have had a job I always dream about? Who needs to be a children of somebody in government, if my plane-pilot father and my multi-talented housewife mother SUPPORT me at the top rate to do anything I want to do, to be a person I want to be, and to live my life the way I want to?

Well, now I know it's not fair. I can say that much when I've got my position now. Maybe I'll speak differently if I were still in prev office LOL but still, I don't need parents from government, for REALLY.

And, this is real. This is me, I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be :)

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It's Not A Shame!

Do you have an annoying friend, who's whenever he/she talks to you, he/she always asks to be introduced to your male/female friends to be dated?

I have. And I found this condition annoying.

It just happened to me not so long ago, maybe an hour ago. A male friend talked to me in Yahoo Messenger and after 'licking my ass' by asking what I'm doing now, he started with that 'please introduce me to your female colleagues' and 'please introduce me to your other girls' shit.

I don't mean to spread hate nor negativity in this post, no. But it's been happening so many times and I hope to get rid of it. The problem is how do I tell him to stop? It will sound very negative like I'm not helpful, or worse, like I don't wanna be his friend no more. So I decide to never tell him that way.

The point is: why do we have to be so pushy about finding life-partner? what is wrong with staying single for a while? what's to be afraid with that? is it that scary if we don't date anyone, even for some months, some years? is it shameful?

If we think it's kinda shameful to be single, then we don't deserve anyone to be dated. Yeah. Because it means we don't date someone because we love that person. It's because we don't like being ashamed. It's because we don't want people point their fingers to us and say 'ha-ha, you're single, that's so pitiful!'

There's nothing wrong with being single. It's so much better than staying with wrong person, or worse, with someone you don't even love. I know love is about growing, but it doesn't mean we MUST give every chance to everyone. We have right to choose. We have right to say 'no' to people we don't want. And if there are dumb people saying we are too picky, then WHY? Nothing wrong with being picky. It's something very personal. It won't affect anyone else but the picky person him/herself. Besides, in choosing life-partner or person to date, we don't PICK EVERYONE, right?

So, stop being forceful. I don't see the fun in that. Why don't we live our live happily, doing things we love to do, having a passionate job, caring for people we love, and making ourselves happy? We can do them all while waiting for the right person to marry or to date. Just enjoy the time. Being single is somehow worth it. It's not a shame. It never is.

And you can't hurry love. You can never.

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Indonesia Can Make It

Have you ever noticed Indonesia by comparing it to other countries?

I have. And here is my analysis.

I am so very sad to see Indonesia's TV load. Look at those miserable dumb TV series and reality shows. And don't forget the talent contest that annoy us. Why can't people in TV make better programs? Don't they have better ideas?

I believe we, Indonesian people, are creative and talented. We still have great ideas in art, technology, and other majors. I believe we all can be great inventors and artists. But where are we, who have such hidden talents?

If they who have real talent are hired by TV to make good programs, I think it's no more impossible that TV Series in Indonesia are no more crappy like Cinta Fitri, Putri yang Tertukar, or worse, Supergirl. I believe we'll have great TV series like Hollywood's How I Met Your Mother or Parenthood, like Korea's Full House or Princess Hours, like Japan's Yamada Taro Monogatari, like else.

So why don't you, TV people, watch and learn from those foreign series?

I feel so pitiful to see Indonesian musician/singer/whatever it's called nowadays. They are so LACK of VOCAL quality. That's why they keep on doing lipsync when performing on live music programs. So pitiful, they can't sing, even compose lame songs, but they record albums. They RECORD albums, OMG.

Where are they, singers from talent contests who have awesome, amazing vocals? Why don't they record albums? They even deserve stage a lot more than trashy 'musicians' who can only do lipsync with their lame songs.

I believe Indonesian music will go international if we record albums only from qualified singers. They won't put us in shame if their songs are in chart outside Indonesia. They won't embarrass us when they perform live because they have amazing vocal and won't do lipsync. I do believe.

And, did you notice Japan's Sanrio or Hollywood's Disney? They have OMG ASDGFJSKA superb brilliantly amazing CUTE CUTE characters!!! And what do they do with that? They make the TV films, movies, and sell the cute cute merchandises. I keep envying them who have created such amazing things. So many characters with different shapes and names, and different stories.

Can't Indonesia make it? I believe we can. We have so many amazing illustrators and cartoonist. We have so many people who can create characters. We have a lot of creative people.

I don't make fun with this, seriously. When I went to design school, before I was accepted in law school, I was shown the seniors' works and I was like o_O. They created characters, cartoons, and the pictures were moving. I was o_O and :O when watching them moving and thought design wasn't my place because I won't let myself pushed to create such amazing moving pictures. I mean it's not my passion. But I will never forget that o_O experience, that made me believe how Indonesia have big assets: the talented people.

So why don't this country explore its people's talent? Why don't they search people with pure talent, not them with half talent? Why can't producers pay high for good creations, not trash? Why can't this country help paying these talented people's needs and on the contrary they will give their best creations to this country?

I don't understand why producers, or whatever it's called, want to pay so high for trash. For anything that's not artistic at all. But I somehow hope there are still some sane people who will realize, soon, that this condition is terrible. I hope they can turn everything bad into good. From trash into something precious. And if they need my support, I will try my best to give them. Ah but, right now, maybe not financially. LOL

Do you believe we can make it?

I believe.

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