To be honest, I was jobless for so long. Seriously, so long.
I was graduated in the middle of 2008. Even before the ceremony started, I have applied for jobs to some companies and law firms. Some called me for interviews and test, but I only passed some. Some that didn't give me appropriate salary. And when I said it was inappropriate, it really was. I mean it was under Regional Minimum Wage in Jakarta. WTH? I'm a bachelor degree, and I got bachelor of law after my name, how did they do that to me?
That kind of things happened over and over again. If I were not accepted, I was accepted with inappropriate salary. I was jobless for almost 6 months, while all my friends have been accepted and worked. I was ashamed, I didn't even want to attend events where all my friends were invited. I felt like I couldn't face them if I haven't got a job, even though they wouldn't matter with that.
I once told my friend, honestly my crush, that there were times when I wanted to commit suicide during those jobless days. But he said I was overrated. He wondered why we have to be so ashamed like that. I think he just didn't get the point. And I knew why, because he was never been in my shoes. If I'm not wrong, not long after his graduation day, he was accepted to work in a manufacturing company that belongs to Japan. Dammit! How the heck he would understand how it feels to be in MY shoes, heh? He was absolutely never there. And for more information, if I'm not wrong again, he's still working in that company until now, and I think he's got a high position there since last year he worked in Japan.
Okay, the point is I TOTALLY ENVY HIM ABOUT THAT JAPAN STUFF! Happy?
But it's not what I wanna talk about in this post. My point is 'it's very normal and human that we feel ashamed when we are useless.'
I felt totally ashamed when I was jobless. It means I was useless. I wasn't productive. I didn't work, I didn't make money, I didn't apply all my knowledge and everything I've studied all the time, since I was kind until I graduated from university. And there's nothing good with being useless. It wasn't good at all, in my case. I didn't make money when I should, so my parents didn't easily give me money if I didn't give good reason or I didn't need it so badly. Life was hard for me. I thank God that I still have place to home, to sleep, to eat. Imagine if I didn't? I would sleep by the corner of the street, eat from dust cans, and beg people for money. I had no savings at all, because how did I save? How did I got the money to save? I was just a newly graduate!
I couldn't face my friends. I only met them who haven't graduated, not them who had found jobs. I once thought that there was no use that I went to university, because I have friends who still got jobs even though they are just high-school graduates. I wanted to commit suicide. I was thinking about the best ways that won't hurt me and straight kill me, from cutting arm until jumping off the roof. I was ashamed when I met my relatives and they asked where I worked, and I became sarcastic when talking about it to them. I was a total bitch. I became a total bitch because I was ashamed of being useless.
And I wonder why people don't get that feeling. I know no one in this world was born to be useless except he/she makes him/herself so, but everyone must find moments when he/she was useless. When others around him/her have been more advanced, and he/she is still standing on the same place from before. When others around him/her have been able to do something for people, while he/she is only sitting in his/her house, doing nothing.
Okay, maybe not everyone would act 'overrated' like me. But...being jobless while the others got jobs? Come on, it's shameful. Although things like that is usually about time, still we must feel ashamed of being jobless, useless. And I thinks it's very normal and human. It's not overrated. People who said it's overrated must be very Indonesia. Sorry, I don't mean to diss this country and its people, but seriously it's like that.
I once heard a story that in developed countries, no one is homeless. The government afford them, although it was just for daily needs. I mean it was just enough for food and clothes, those poor people can't do shopping and pay for entertainment like rich people. It's not so bad, at least they have place to home, to sleep, to eat, and are not naked. but then, do they accept everything and enjoy it? NO.
They look for jobs. They're ashamed of being feed by government, and they must not feel enough only by a place to home, to eat, etc. They have PRIDE. They know they can't just stay lazy, do nothing, and take everything from the government. They work until the government knows they can afford themselves. Oh my God, they just have PRIDE. And it's the high one. Their damn pride is just fuckin' high.
Compared to Indonesian people, what would they do if the government afford their lives? Of course, they would take it happily and never thought to look for job so that the government would afford them until they die. I just learn from what I see, like when the district government gave nine main materials (sembako), the people didn't stay calmly in queue. They just break it just to get the free sembako, so that some people are usually killed in such moments. And do they give a damn to the died people? I am never sure about that, since their purpose is just the free sembako, and they got it successfully.
Please, people, have a high pride! Be ashamed when you're useless! There's nothing wrong with having high pride and feeling ashamed when you're useless, it's not overrated at all. It's normal, it's very human. Please stop depending on other people, just try to stand on your own two feet! Don't sweat the small stuff, just do the best to be not useless anymore. And I think that's what people in developed countries do, so that their countries can be so damn developed.
I'm bored that Indonesia is only a developing country. Since I was kid, since I was studying about this country in elementary school, Indonesia has always been a developING country, until now. It has never been developED. And I'm BO to the RED, since my age will be a quarter of a century by next month.
I was graduated in the middle of 2008. Even before the ceremony started, I have applied for jobs to some companies and law firms. Some called me for interviews and test, but I only passed some. Some that didn't give me appropriate salary. And when I said it was inappropriate, it really was. I mean it was under Regional Minimum Wage in Jakarta. WTH? I'm a bachelor degree, and I got bachelor of law after my name, how did they do that to me?
That kind of things happened over and over again. If I were not accepted, I was accepted with inappropriate salary. I was jobless for almost 6 months, while all my friends have been accepted and worked. I was ashamed, I didn't even want to attend events where all my friends were invited. I felt like I couldn't face them if I haven't got a job, even though they wouldn't matter with that.
I once told my friend, honestly my crush, that there were times when I wanted to commit suicide during those jobless days. But he said I was overrated. He wondered why we have to be so ashamed like that. I think he just didn't get the point. And I knew why, because he was never been in my shoes. If I'm not wrong, not long after his graduation day, he was accepted to work in a manufacturing company that belongs to Japan. Dammit! How the heck he would understand how it feels to be in MY shoes, heh? He was absolutely never there. And for more information, if I'm not wrong again, he's still working in that company until now, and I think he's got a high position there since last year he worked in Japan.
Okay, the point is I TOTALLY ENVY HIM ABOUT THAT JAPAN STUFF! Happy?
But it's not what I wanna talk about in this post. My point is 'it's very normal and human that we feel ashamed when we are useless.'
I felt totally ashamed when I was jobless. It means I was useless. I wasn't productive. I didn't work, I didn't make money, I didn't apply all my knowledge and everything I've studied all the time, since I was kind until I graduated from university. And there's nothing good with being useless. It wasn't good at all, in my case. I didn't make money when I should, so my parents didn't easily give me money if I didn't give good reason or I didn't need it so badly. Life was hard for me. I thank God that I still have place to home, to sleep, to eat. Imagine if I didn't? I would sleep by the corner of the street, eat from dust cans, and beg people for money. I had no savings at all, because how did I save? How did I got the money to save? I was just a newly graduate!
I couldn't face my friends. I only met them who haven't graduated, not them who had found jobs. I once thought that there was no use that I went to university, because I have friends who still got jobs even though they are just high-school graduates. I wanted to commit suicide. I was thinking about the best ways that won't hurt me and straight kill me, from cutting arm until jumping off the roof. I was ashamed when I met my relatives and they asked where I worked, and I became sarcastic when talking about it to them. I was a total bitch. I became a total bitch because I was ashamed of being useless.
And I wonder why people don't get that feeling. I know no one in this world was born to be useless except he/she makes him/herself so, but everyone must find moments when he/she was useless. When others around him/her have been more advanced, and he/she is still standing on the same place from before. When others around him/her have been able to do something for people, while he/she is only sitting in his/her house, doing nothing.
Okay, maybe not everyone would act 'overrated' like me. But...being jobless while the others got jobs? Come on, it's shameful. Although things like that is usually about time, still we must feel ashamed of being jobless, useless. And I thinks it's very normal and human. It's not overrated. People who said it's overrated must be very Indonesia. Sorry, I don't mean to diss this country and its people, but seriously it's like that.
I once heard a story that in developed countries, no one is homeless. The government afford them, although it was just for daily needs. I mean it was just enough for food and clothes, those poor people can't do shopping and pay for entertainment like rich people. It's not so bad, at least they have place to home, to sleep, to eat, and are not naked. but then, do they accept everything and enjoy it? NO.
They look for jobs. They're ashamed of being feed by government, and they must not feel enough only by a place to home, to eat, etc. They have PRIDE. They know they can't just stay lazy, do nothing, and take everything from the government. They work until the government knows they can afford themselves. Oh my God, they just have PRIDE. And it's the high one. Their damn pride is just fuckin' high.Compared to Indonesian people, what would they do if the government afford their lives? Of course, they would take it happily and never thought to look for job so that the government would afford them until they die. I just learn from what I see, like when the district government gave nine main materials (sembako), the people didn't stay calmly in queue. They just break it just to get the free sembako, so that some people are usually killed in such moments. And do they give a damn to the died people? I am never sure about that, since their purpose is just the free sembako, and they got it successfully.
Please, people, have a high pride! Be ashamed when you're useless! There's nothing wrong with having high pride and feeling ashamed when you're useless, it's not overrated at all. It's normal, it's very human. Please stop depending on other people, just try to stand on your own two feet! Don't sweat the small stuff, just do the best to be not useless anymore. And I think that's what people in developed countries do, so that their countries can be so damn developed.
I'm bored that Indonesia is only a developing country. Since I was kid, since I was studying about this country in elementary school, Indonesia has always been a developING country, until now. It has never been developED. And I'm BO to the RED, since my age will be a quarter of a century by next month.
It is a little shameful. Barely able to survive. There's too many rules to do whatever you want also. All you can do is follow the government procedures. People keep saying to do the things you "love", but at what cost. It's very exhausting.
ReplyDeletewell at least you make yourself useful. at least there's something you can do, you don't just sit around and do nothing. for a moment, it's enough.
ReplyDelete