The Grantor of Empty Hopes

The grantor of empty hopes seems like an overrated term to mention 'someone who likes giving empty hopes to his/her opposites, but never want to date one of them.' In Indonesia, it's called Pemberi Harapan Palsu or PHP. But let's forget about overrated or whatsoever, let's just focus on this post.

So, how much of you ever meet or even befriend with this kind of people? I am pretty sure so much of you ever do. I have met this kind of person, male one, and befriend closely, 2 times. Basically this kind of person don't have troubled personality, as far as I knew them. Even they have better personalities than anyone else.

I met the first one when I was in college. I thought I ever wrote about him in some posts in this blog, so I won't write about him in detail. He was cute, really cute, smart, and totally nice. I fell in love head over heels with him because he was physically my type and he always counted on me as if I was the only girl he could trust. He was charming and so nice to me. I always let him go but he always came back to me as if we couldn't be separated. But in the end, he never saw me as a special person. I was just one of his friends. 

I met the second one somewhere only we know, that I can't tell you. This person is superb nice. His attitude got 8 out of 10. His look...well, actually not so good in common, but to me he's cute. We didn't go well at the beginning, both of us seemed to keep distance to each other. He never tried to get closer to me, and I wasn't brave enough to do so because I was so charmed by his cuteness. But time somehow changes everything, since our relationship demands us to get closer and we had no reasons not to be. I heard stories about him, who is close to some girls but never dates any of them, and I have proved that it's true. Since I knew he was never serious to anyone, I thrown away my crush on him. I started to see him as ordinary friends, equal as the others. And what happened then? He never goes any further, he even gets closer to me, and treat me specially like I'm a special person to him. He is superb NICE to me. I already realized this since the first time we talked to each other when he helped me right away about something I need, without I asked. He was nice, and still, it has never changed, even grows stronger. With him, I had nothing to lose. I was poured with kindness, sweetness, nice treatments, even sweet caring words and compliments. I grab them all, yeah, because I am given those. I don't fall in love with him because of those, but I appreciate him. As a grantor of empty hopes, HE GOT CLASS. I know he don't think of me as a special girl, but his attitude never shows it. My point is I have nothing to lose with him. I don't even lose heart because I just follow his pattern and blend myself with him there. If he expects jar of hearts by pouring me with kindness, he can take it because I'm not gonna run out of it. 

Grantors of empty hopes are annoying, yes, because they will never think specially about us. Even if so, they won't let us have further relationship with them. They would only ruin our lives with sweet caring words, compliments, and special treatments. I have no idea why they would do such a thing, but it's probably related to insecurity of being left alone. 

And what should we do when we meet this kind of person? In my opinion and based on my experience, I would just take them all. Those caring attitude, words, compliments, treatments...for I have nothing to lose. I won't be afraid that heart would matter, because when I know this person gives empty hopes, I throw away my crush right at the moment. Grantors of empty hopes are basically not categorized to hated people. I think they don't deserve hatred for they always do nice things. What they can never give us is CERTAINTY. According to one of my posts last year, giving our hearts to grantor of empty hopes can cause CRUSHOPHOBIA. And who will lose anything? It's US.

Just be wise in facing this kind of person. Take the advantages, absorb their kindness until they can't give it anymore. And who will lose then? It's THEM.